[day 31]

 (me and a wolf in Witchita, KS while traveling for the holidays)

(me and a wolf in Witchita, KS while traveling for the holidays)

I've officially been back on Nutrasine for one month today. I don't know where to begin describing how immensely improved I am, but I will venture forth anyhow...

One week in, I began being able to incorporate (mild) exercise into my everyday routine because I began having an everyday routine. Two weeks in, I began swimming on Mondays. Previous to my exacerbation, I swam one mile three times a week (that's 32 laps, 64 lengths). I'm reviving in small strides, but for the first time I can ush. ardly at all, but forward nonetheless. At first, I was astounded at how limited my flexibility had become--I couldn't touch my toes (something I've teased my brothers for), but just this week I was able to touch my toes and swim a 1/2 mile.

 I'm mostly gaining endurance. That was the first thing I noticed just three days into taking Nutrasine was I could stay in the room longer. My mind was sharper. My attention-span had expanded, and in a little ways, I began contributing again. I feel more and more myself everyday, and less like a walking mausoleum full of half thoughts, missed moments, and forgotten strengths and loves. I've felt so lost inside myself. I didn't even have strength to want to participate in games and jokes and story telling. My want to came back last night. It was 9:30 pm and my siblings were going to have a Mario Kart tournament. I was sitting on my bed preparing for sleep when my sister-in-law popped in and asked if I wanted to play, and as I replied, "No, thanks" a lump rose in my throat, a little lump that said "I do want to play, but I can't." Not yet.

I must become my most disciplined self. I feel the surge of this new energy I now possess, but even it fades. I noted in my first weeks, and still some now, that I feel like I'm existing dose to dose. I feel my strength start to wane as the supplement wears out of my body and I'm left on my own, and these days, my own is pretty despicable. Early on, before Nutrasine re-entered my life, Mum told me I seem a more concentrated version of myself. I am and must be that exactly. I know and now cannot unknow the reality of my weakness. I need all the help I can get, so now I help myself by sleeping in, long breathers between exercises, regular meal times, quiet hours, and at least one ambitious/task-oriented activity everyday (depending on my aptitude). Today I've exercised (routine), practiced piano for an hour (routine), read just as long or more (routine), and now I write to you (my goal). I like to have an outing or two as well for self-management training in foreign environments. Sometimes I fail and am set back a day or two, but when I succeed, I'm also building a firmer confidence in my renewed abilities. That is my greatest reward, that I am finally building again.  My equilibrium still has a ways to go, but this morning I did forty jumping jacks.

If you or someone you know is struggling with immune issues or needs an extra boost that builds to last (i.e. NOT CAFFEINE), I cannot emphasis enough how essential Nutrasine is to my wellness and strength.

Thanks for listening.

annie mccreadyComment