[day 268]

I keep running into boundaries. Just when I think I'm setting a balanced pace, a steel pole I didn't see before slams me in the face and I have to reset. Adjusting from near invalid status to participating citizen has renovated the landscape of my life. There's more quicksand than before (sneaky tasks that suck away all my strength), more foggy forests to navigate (things that used to be normal but are now foreign), and the cliff side seems closer than before (the necessity of margin in my life has higher precedence). I talked about reaching a boundary when working at Kilwin's, and now I've hit another in the realm I thought was safe territory: babysitting. I know that six hours is my maximum working capacity, but I didn't know that six hours starting at eight am would be so taxing. Now I know and I have to readjust (potentially look for other work). I have a ferocity I've never known before when in comes to limitation. My exacerbation last fall took me to a far away place that I don't ever want to go again if I have any say about it, so when I reach a threshold, a flaming roar takes hold of me and my mind starts strategizing an escape. #runningformylife

 I also helped my brothers lead worship at an event this week (hence the reindeer hanging from my keyboard) and learned I'm not ready for that either. There's a lot to be accountable for when playing live with other people with other people watching. #reindeersarebetterthanpeople

JK....I people are beautiful

annie mccready